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发信人: yeeyee (同登彼岸), 信区: SiChuan
标  题: 英文简历中不该出现的话
发信站: BBS 水木清华站 (Tue Jan 11 18:30:30 2005), 站内

不知道有人看到過没有，可能有点用，po之～
英文简历中不该出现的话

致命的大错：

　　"Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10."

　　"Qualifications: No education or experience."

　　"I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy."

　　"My compensation should be at least equal to my age."

　　"Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC."

　　"Fired because I fought for lower pay."

　　"Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 6"5" .

　　" Please disregard the enclosed resume－it is terribly out of date."

　　"Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near."

　　"Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word "paranoia." I prefer to elaborate privately."

打字错误与语法错误

　　"Here are my qualifications for you to overlook."

　　"Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer."

　　"I am a rabid typist."

　　"Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879－1981."

　　"After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work."

　　"Accounting cleric."

　　"As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments."

　　"Suspected to graduate early next year."

　　"Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets."

　　"Proven ability to track down and correct erors."

　　"Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department."

　　"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

　　"Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school."

不应有的幽默

　　"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."

　　"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast－paced setting." (Translation: Short－order cook.)

　　"But wait...there"s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."

　　"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

　　"My fortune ｃｏｏｋｉｅ said, "Your next interview will result in a job"－and I like your company in particular."

　　"Title: Another resume from the "Profiles in Excellence" series."

　　"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix－it."

　　"Trustworthy references available upon request－if I give them a few bucks."

　　"Let"s meet so you can "ooh" and "ahh" over my experience."

∶41:
--

有个词语叫物是人非，是我见过的最狠毒的一个词。

※ 来源:·BBS 水木清华站 smth.org·[FROM: 202.120.127.*]
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